Episode 01x18 - Big GameSloob

Malex:

After that horrible Christmas, cold and alone, I called around, and procured a better office for our private detective business.

We put together some new fliers, and went around replacing all of the old ones.

“Howdy boys!” the owner of the Game Depot called to us as we entered with our stack of fliers. “Here to spend more money?”

“Not today,” I replied. “Just replacing the old flier in here. Our old office, um, kinda burned to the ground...”

“Oh yeah,” the aged man laughed the laugh of the overweight, “your detective business. Had any customers yet?”

“Yeah,” Icepunk jumped in, “there was this one guy, but we think he was murdered and thrown down the stairs just outside our door.”

I gave him a subtle punch to the jaw before continuing, “Anyway, if you ever have anything needing investigating, just drop by! We’d love to take some of that money back... I mean, help you out.”

We left him chuckling at our antics and continued putting up fliers.

When we finally finished getting our advertising in order, we just headed to our new office and waited.

After a few days, I learned that ‘doing business’ is more of an earned privilege than a right. I was just sitting at my desk, thinking about Echofly, and waiting for a client. Icepunk was standing up on his desk, playing some odd game that he’d made up involving a yo-yo and a fully-loaded pistol.

I’d basically gotten tired of waiting, and was trying to teach myself how to induce a coma, when our first client walked in.

Icepunk:

I stare in surprise. “Hey, mister video game store owner! What’s up?”

“Oh, the humanity!” Kobb yells. “My store got robbed!”

Malex inexplicably rolls his eyes.

“What?” I yell. “Someone violated your sacred place of entertainment?”

He nods sadly. “All they took was a prototype of a new game console called the GameSloob. But still, my brothers, Robb and Bobb, spent two years making it! If I don’t get it back, they’re screwed!”

“Um, any idea who did it?” Malex asks.

“Was it those kids who are always shoplifting?” I query. “Last time I was at the Game Depot, I saw eleven different kids steal your merchandise.”

“No, it had to be an inside job,” Kobb says. “I just closed the store just like I usually would. The GameSloob was in the back room when I left. When I came back the next day, it was gone - but none of the doors had been forced.” Kobb shrugs helplessly, despair in his eyes.

“Do you have a butler working for you there?” I ask, putting my chin in my hand.

“No. No, I don’t. You’re kidding, right?” Kobb asks.

Malex sighs. “Who do you suspect, mister Kobb?”

Kobb pondered for a moment before answering. “Starchy and Jubhead are my only employees, besides my cat, Mrs. Wissy Wookins. But she’s too sweet to do anything criminal.”

“Plus she’s a cat,” Malex says dryly. “Say, Icepunk, isn’t Jubhead that big shot who goes to the club?” Malex asks me.

“Oh, yeah!” I say. “Could it be the same guy? I wonder how he buys all that stuff with such a crappy day job.”

“It doesn’t really matter what kind of day job he has if his night job pays really well...” Malex muses.

“Well,” I say, “if he’s got some criminal stuff going on, why stick with a day job?”

“If he’s smart, he’d have to,” Malex says. “First, as a front, since he’s gotta have relatives that poke into his life from time to time. Second, he’d definitely stay with a crappy job it if it meant that he’d have access to something as cool as a prototype game console.” Malex is on a roll now. “Kobb!” He turns suddenly on the shaken video game store owner. “How much did your employees know about the GameSloob before it was finished? Would this kid have known that it was coming?”

“Oh sure,” Kobb says. “My brothers used the store as something like a testing ground. They’d bring it in and get the kids to play and give feedback. Sometimes they’d work on it in the store for long periods of time, even spending the night there occasionally.”

Malex:

“Okay, so how do we catch this guy?” Icepunk asked me.

I politely ignored him and addressed Kobb, “When does Jubhead get off work today?”

“Well,” the old man pondered, “he didn’t want to come in, but I needed someone to watch the shop while I came over here. I imagine that he’ll leave as soon as I arrive.”

We hopped in my beat-up car and followed Kobb to the Game Depot. We parked in an inconspicuous spot and waited, but not for long, because Jubhead - the same one we knew - emerged almost immediately.

We hadn’t really tailed anybody before, but we’d seen it done by professionals in movies, so we had a pretty good idea how to go about it.

This guy had plenty of flipping errands to run, that was for sure. It was nearly dark out by the time he pulled into a grocery store parking lot. We weren’t sure what he was going to be doing inside, but we were sure that we didn’t want to lose him, so we piled out of the car and followed him in as subtly as we could manage.

Icepunk:

I trip a couple of times on my stupid trench coat, nearly losing my fedora in the parking lot. We enter the Floor-Mart right behind Jubhead. He immediately heads for the personal hygiene aisle, with us following close behind. So close, in fact, that we can smell the reek of pot.

Malex, the poor asthmatic wuss that he is, begins coughing and gagging so loud that Jubhead turns from the toothbrushes he was looking at. We panic and examine whatever items are closest to us. Malex ends up inspecting some deodorant sticks, while I intently scrutinize the array of available feminine hygiene products. Subtle. Really subtle.

“Malex? Icepunk?” Jubhead queries and walks over to us laughing. “Are you the ones that’ve been following me since Game Depot?”

Malex, thinking quickly, responds. “Ha, yeah, we were! Great joke, eh?”

“I guess... The costumes are a riot,” he says, motioning to our awesome detective gear. “Hey, you coming to my party tonight? I just moved into a new apartment, and I’m throwing a party to celebrate! I was just running some errands, trying to get everything that I didn’t think of before I moved in, but I’m gonna have to head back real soon if I’m gonna make it on time myself. Anyway, you coming? This party is going to seriously rock, especially considering the new toy I got.” He winks and turns, grabbing a few more items before paying and heading out.