Malex and Icepunk Episode 01x08 - Echofly

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Episode 01x08 - Echofly; Originally released on Sat, 2004/10/23 - 12:00am

I woke up, and the sunlight of late Saturday afternoon was laughing in my face. Icepunk had not yet returned. Bah.

This is a reprinted episode from The Unlikely Adventures of Malex and Icepunk - one of the Malex Media Network's classic projects. Give it a read and let me or Icepunk know what you think!

If you like it as much as we hope you will, perhaps you'll consider purchasing a copy of the ebook...? Either way, we hope you enjoy the episode!

Additional Text

Episode 01x08 - Echofly

Malex:

I woke up, and the sunlight of late Saturday afternoon was laughing in my face. Icepunk had not yet returned. Bah.

After a hearty fast food breakfast, I drove my car to a body shop to have them fix the horrible dent in its front. I immediately left when I heard how much the dent would cost to fix. Bah.

By the time I quit running errands, it was fairly late. The club I usually danced at had opened, so I made my way toward it.

As I entered, the sights and sounds of the club washed over me like a comforting rain.

“Malex!” Phoobar greeted me. “I hear you really made an impression with my buddies up north.”

“Skip it man; that was a painful experience.”

“I should say so. Just remind me to never let you near a turntable within earshot.”

The rest of that night is hazy in my memory, excepting the time from the moment I saw ‘her’. She was beautiful beyond words’ ability to describe. She danced like an angel. Her face reflected the colored lights like an impossible painting - an image so exquisite that it could not be real, yet it was. I knew right then that I needed to get to know her better.

Icepunk:

I enter the club with a flourish. Two bouncers appear in front of me, conjured up by the club owner’s magic.

“Twenty bucks entrance fee,” one of the trolls demands, arms crossed.

I hand him a twenty and stroll past him.

“Yo, got any ID?” he calls.

I show him my ID. He peers at it uncertainly for a few moments, then hands it to his buddy, who also looks at it perplexedly.

Finally, the shorter troll speaks. “Sorry, dog. Can’t accept library cards. Gotta know your age, son.”

“Fine. I’m 21.”

“Come on, man. You gotta have something to prove it. I can’t take your word for it.”

“But I left it in my other pair of boxers.”

They grimace. “You sick, twisted freak! What are you doing hauling your license around in your drawers for?”

“Screw that. Can I get in?”

“Fo’ the last time, no! Come back when you got your license with you. And don’t expect me to touch it, neither.”

Malex:

Phoobar tapped me on the shoulder, interrupting my reverie. “Looks like your friend needs help.”

I looked back in time to see two bouncers quite literally kick Icepunk out. “Ignore him, I’m sure he can fend for himself.”

The girl quit dancing and made her way to the drink bar, prompting me to make my move.

“Hey,” said I, walking up to her, “you new here? Lemme buy you a drink.”

“Yeah, thanks. I just moved into town a month ago.”

I ordered two Colas and answered, “Ah, so you’re still settling in. How do you like our little town?”

“Just Cola?” The bartender eyed me strangely.

“Yeah man, two cups of whatever Cola you’ve got. You know, the soft-drink.” I looked at the girl, shrugged, and smiled.

The bartender dropped our glasses on the counter and walked away shaking his head.

The girl eyed her drink and shook her head bemusedly. “The city is nice enough. Takes some time to get used to though, especially if you don’t know anyone.”

“True enough. By the way, I’m Malex.”

“Malex, eh? Sounds dangerous. I’m Echofly.”

We shook hands. “Well Echofly, welcome to the city. If you need anyone to show you around...” I trail off, cock my head, and put on my trademark goofy smile.

She smiles sweetly and responds, “Thanks, that might help.”

Icepunk:

After being thrown bodily from the club, I dust myself off and sit on the curb. Someone taps me on the shoulder.

“Why hello. You look like you could use some fake ID. For the surprisingly low amount of one hundred dollars, you can have this professionally hand-crafted fake driver’s license.”

“Hey,” I say to him. “Aren’t you the guy who used a toothbrush on your-”

“Crap,” he responds quickly. “So you heard about that. Not that I did it though...”

“Malex showed me the photos dude. I still have nightmares. Just thinking about it makes me want to bleach my eyes.”

“Okay, okay. Here, ID on the house, ’cuz we’re buddies.” He slaps me on the back heartily.

I remove his hand and take the plastic card. “Thanks. What’s your name again?”

“Phoobar.”

“That’s right.” I look at the photo on the license. “Hey this isn’t me, it’s some Asian chick.”

“No, no. That’s you. Look closer.”

While peering at the photo, I hear the pattering of tiny feet as he scampers away.

Malex:

I paid for the drinks, found an empty table, sat down with Echofly, and resumed our conversation. I found out that she had moved away from her parents’ house immediately after graduating because the situation at home had become “unbearable”.

“I’m so sorry,” I said, concern spreading across my face.

She had begun to tear up, but looked up and smiled. “No, it’s okay. It doesn’t hurt anymore.” A look of horror crossed my face as she took something out of a pocket that looked remarkably like an illicit mind-altering substance.

“You know, that stuff really isn’t good for you.”

She chuckled bitterly, “That’s what they say. I say it can’t be that bad if it feels good.” She began mixing it with the remains of the drink I had purchased.

“Surely you don’t believe that. Besides, you don’t really look happy to me.”

She looked at me and narrowed her eyes. “What do you care?” she asked quietly.

I looked at her and saw that she was hurting and broken in a way that could only be from hiding in a dark corner for unnumbered years. “You don’t need to be alone,” I said softly. “Please don’t leave.”

Icepunk:

“Finally got your ID outta your boxers?” the bouncer asks as I try to hand him my license. He refuses to take it and says, “Just let me read it.”

I hold it out for him to see. His brow furrows as he looks at the photo and the name below it. He sighs. To avoid having to kick me out again he says, “This ID’s good mister, uh, Tinkle-Winkle.”

I muster up the last of my dignity and walk past them. Music and the smell of pot greet me as I enter. I snap and shake my glow sticks while approaching the dance floor. Time to teach these tykes how to dance.

Malex:

“You really care whether I get wasted or not, don’t you?” Echofly asked me. The question held such weight, I was forced to ponder for a moment before answering. Before I could respond, however, we were interrupted by people screaming and running from the dance floor.

I looked, I saw, but I did not believe. Icepunk was whirling and bouncing around the dance floor like the maniac he obviously was.

“Icepunk!” I yelled. “He’s going to kill somebody,” I muttered as I got up and ran toward the dance floor. Just as I realized that there was nothing I could humanly do to stop him, Icepunk slammed into me during a particularly energetic backflip. With an impressive lack of consideration for the laws of physics, we both flew onto the DJ platform and destroyed several expensive pieces of equipment.

As the bouncers escorted us out of the building, I looked over at Echofly. She had drained the glass and had slumped forward onto the table.

There are few words to describe my anger toward Icepunk in that moment, and many of them are yet frowned upon. “Hades will be unleashed before this has ended,” I thought. Little did I know how prophetic that thought would become.

Related

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Comments

SangMing's picture

Ah, romance.

Don't get all soft on us, Malex. X-D

---------------

I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

---------------

I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

Crazy J's picture

We're getting close...

To my favorite episode! # 10 is coming shortly, I can feel it!

Yeah, I showed a kid episode ten a few years back. He died.

--

National Sarcasm Society. Like we need your support.

--

"Have you seen how much cotton candy he can eat?"

"Yes! 5.1 Pounds. That's why his blood is so good on pancakes!"

madamelibrarian's picture

hey,

at least Echofly has detoxed now... ;-)

"...Though I may be forced to faint if my imagination gets the better of me."

-- Anne Shirley

I hope and pray that none may kill me,

Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,

But if ever any should think to kill me,

I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.

Malex's picture

As a great friend of mine once said:

"Well, you know, the brain cells - they just don't come back."

--Alex Markley

"But who will help me bake the flour?" inquired the donkey.

"Festering!" screamed the hen in reply.

Alex Markley

“Objects in mirror seem closer than they appear.”

I found it very amusing how

I found it very amusing how Echofly would constantly be fainting throughout the book. Hehe. But, I also felt that it wasn't a very good representation of women. However, I presume that Echofly was not meant to be a representative of women in this book, so no biggie.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."

- Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."

- Proverbs 3:5-6

madamelibrarian's picture

how wise of your friend!

:-D

"...Though I may be forced to faint if my imagination gets the better of me."

-- Anne Shirley

I hope and pray that none may kill me,

Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,

But if ever any should think to kill me,

I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.

SangMing's picture

Gender stereotyping

I also felt that it wasn't a very good representation of women.

I'm often amused by the fact that certain members of the population will take offense at the representation of other members of that same population in a work of film or literature, without regard to the treatment of other groups in the same work. For instance, the whole "Little Rascals" series of shorts has been denounced as unfairly depicting African-Americans. But who in that series was ever represented fairly? Everybody of all races, ages and genders looked, acted and dressed goofy. (Goofily?) By the same token, you have to realize that everybody in TUAoMaI gets the same treatment. Pure insanity. And none of them are representative of their type. Slappy is certainly not a normal senior citizen, and neither Malex nor Icepunk is a normal anything!

This is not to say that your comment, NW, was offensive or anything. I know you were just expressing an opinion. :-)

---------------

I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

---------------

I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

Malex's picture

I agree

I'll be sure to tell her you thought so. :-P

--Alex Markley

"But who will help me bake the flour?" inquired the donkey.

"Festering!" screamed the hen in reply.

Alex Markley

“Objects in mirror seem closer than they appear.”

madamelibrarian's picture

uh huh

I found it very amusing how Echofly would constantly be fainting throughout the book"-- Noble Wisdom

it was the drugs... X-|

"...Though I may be forced to faint if my imagination gets the better of me."

-- Anne Shirley

I hope and pray that none may kill me,

Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,

But if ever any should think to kill me,

I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.

Craziness!

Lol, yes, you are both correct. But I couldn't help laughing when she fainted. The way Malex and Ice Punk described it was so funny! Yeah, you're right, Mrs. Oz. Thanks for clarifying. Everybody in TUAoMaI were pretty crazy. :-D :-P X-D

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."

- Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."

- Proverbs 3:5-6