Corrupt a Wish
I discovered a fun forum game that I'm sure would be filled many times over with all the randomness here 
. It's called Corrupt a Wish, and it works like this:
Someguy354: I wish I had a pet turtle
Thatdude72: Wish granted. It's a snapping turtle, which bites you everyday 
.
I wish I had $1,000,000!
Someguy354: Wish granted. It's in coin form, and crushes you.
I wish...
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And so on, and so on. Just think of a creative way that the wish could go wrong. So I'll start:
I wish I could fly
Wish granted
But you can never land and you get very tired and lonely.
I wish I had a smoked meat sandwich.
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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
Wish granted.
It smells of tobacco.
I wish I wasn't sick.
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"He speaks of Meow."
"Just feed the cat."
You know how to raspberry, don't you Steve? You just put your tongue out and blow.
Your wish is granted.
"I wish I had a smoked meat sandwich." --SangMing
Your smoked meat sandwich comes in a box with holes. As you open the box, it jumps out and bounds around the room playfully for a minute or two before snuggling up against your leg and going to sleep.
My turn! I wish the world was a happier place.
--Alex Markley
“Suddenly, the world was a bit more orange than usual. And the bunny didn't like it.”
Alex Markley
“Objects in mirror seem closer than they appear.”
Curses!
You responded to SangMing mere moments before I!
--Alex Markley
“Suddenly, the world was a bit more orange than usual. And the bunny didn't like it.”
Alex Markley
“Objects in mirror seem closer than they appear.”
Gee...
I can’t think of ways for either of your wishes to go wrong!
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“... But as for me, I trust in [God.]” -Psalm 55:23
“[Jesus said,] ‘Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.’” –Matthew 24:35 (ESV)
Wish granted.
The planet develops a consciousness and makes itself happier by enslaving all life that depends on it.
I still wish I wasn't sick.
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"He speaks of Meow."
"Just feed the cat."
You know how to raspberry, don't you Steve? You just put your tongue out and blow.
=)
I wish I wasn't sick. - Aisling
Wish granted. Your body does nothing to fight the illness and you feel fine right up until you kill over and die.
I wish the air around me smelled of salt.
If you always know that the worst can happen at any moment then you are very rarely surprised. - Me
"Sir, the ketchup is becoming violently familiar with the guests." - me
Wish granted
The air smells of salt because it is salt. Without oxygen, it's your turn to keel over and die.
I wish Foppy's iTunes library didn't have a bunch of sermons in it.
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"He speaks of Meow."
"Just feed the cat."
You know how to raspberry, don't you Steve? You just put your tongue out and blow.
0-o
I still wish I wasn't sick.
How can you wish something bad upon a sick person?? AIS! Make a non being not sick wish!
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Slushy's words of wisdom:
I have been trained to read your mind... *reads your mind* oh, wait that's mine...woah this is embarrassing...<_< >_> *stands very still in hopes you wont see me*
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The floor beneath my feet pounds
The air around me fills with sound
I am one with the throbbing bass
and the lights that play on my face
The obvious answer...
I still wish I wasn't sick.
....would be that the grim reaper comes along and ends your illness...forever. But I'm too loving to say something like that.
Instead - Wish granted - you get well and have to do all the work for your sick co-workers.
I wish Foppy's iTunes library didn't have a bunch of sermons in it.
Wish granted. Foppy's iTunes library is filled instead with bluegrass and rap.
I wish I was younger.
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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
Wish granted.
But you’re not really any different because you’re not too old anyway.
I wish-
that nothing was different because I’m perfectly happy! 
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“... But as for me, I trust in [God.]” -Psalm 55:23
“[Jesus said,] ‘Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.’” –Matthew 24:35 (ESV)
GA!
I can't work with that!!!!! *pouts* I wanna play.
I'll try anyway.
I wish- that nothing was different because I’m perfectly happy!-Qz
Wish granted. Time freezes and your stuck right where you are now forever.
I wish I didn't have to take any exams.
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Yeah, that just gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside like the world is crushing down on my head. Thanks.
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“Yeah,” Ilor said, beginning to laugh, “they'd kill us because they're pirates!”
I'm a genie!!
Your wish is granted, you don't havta take exams but..er...you don't get any summer vacation and you never graduate from highschool.
I wish I was a cat! Then me and my Deja could go on hunting missions!
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Slushy's words of wisdom:
I have been trained to read your mind... *reads your mind* oh, wait that's mine...woah this is embarrassing...<_< >_> *stands very still in hopes you wont see me*
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The floor beneath my feet pounds
The air around me fills with sound
I am one with the throbbing bass
and the lights that play on my face
Hee hee hee!
I wish I was a cat! Then me and my Deja could go on hunting missions! - Slushpunk
Wish granted! But you're the same gender as Deja and the two of you don't get along.
I wish I didn't think everything was going to go wrong.
If you always know that the worst can happen at any moment then you are very rarely surprised. - Me
"Sir, the ketchup is becoming violently familiar with the guests." - me
*hisses at Deja*
Wish granted. You stop thinking everything's gonna go wrong, then when everything does you weren't prepared and end up dying horribbly.
I wish I could REALLY read peoples minds.
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Slushy's words of wisdom:
I have been trained to read your mind... *reads your mind* oh, wait that's mine...woah this is embarrassing...<_< >_> *stands very still in hopes you wont see me*
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The floor beneath my feet pounds
The air around me fills with sound
I am one with the throbbing bass
and the lights that play on my face
*having fun now*
Wish granted. You can read people's minds and the knowledge leaves you quivering in the corner screaming.
I wish I had an original John Waterhouse painting.
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Yeah, that just gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside like the world is crushing down on my head. Thanks.
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“Yeah,” Ilor said, beginning to laugh, “they'd kill us because they're pirates!”
>:D
Wish granted. But then your brother gets a hold of it.
I wish I could forget any and every unpleasant image I ever saw.
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"He speaks of Meow."
"Just feed the cat."
You know how to raspberry, don't you Steve? You just put your tongue out and blow.
Wish granted.
But then- ... But... Somebody else take this one!
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“... But as for me, I trust in [God.]” -Psalm 55:23
“[Jesus said,] ‘Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.’” –Matthew 24:35 (ESV)
I'll try it
Wish granted, you forget all unpleasent stuff and all you remember is rainbows and butterflys and all the yayfullness drives you mad.
I wish fish tasted less fishy. *shrug*
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Slushy's words of wisdom:
I have been trained to read your mind... *reads your mind* oh, wait that's mine...woah this is embarrassing...<_< >_> *stands very still in hopes you wont see me*
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The floor beneath my feet pounds
The air around me fills with sound
I am one with the throbbing bass
and the lights that play on my face
BUTTERFLIES!!!
Wish granted. Now they taste like soggy asparagus.
I wish I was a Hollywood-recognized filmmaker.
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"He speaks of Meow."
"Just feed the cat."
You know how to raspberry, don't you Steve? You just put your tongue out and blow.
Hmm...
I wish I was a Hollywood-recognized filmmaker. - Aisling
Wish granted. But now your an unbearably arrogant woman who takes charge and thinks she has big biceps!
I wish people would stop ruining my schedule.
If you always know that the worst can happen at any moment then you are very rarely surprised. - Me
"Sir, the ketchup is becoming violently familiar with the guests." - me
aHA!
Your wish is granted and nobody ruins your schedule... because you suddenly discover that you have no ability to manage time, form schedules (even bad ones), or generally get your act together at all!
(Sounds suspiciously familiar...)
I wish people wouldn't corrupt this wish.
--Alex Markley
“Suddenly, the world was a bit more orange than usual. And the bunny didn't like it.”
Alex Markley
“Objects in mirror seem closer than they appear.”
Logic
Wish granted. Your wish remains uncorrupted. Everything around you explodes.
I wish I had a good book to read.
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"He speaks of Meow."
"Just feed the cat."
You know how to raspberry, don't you Steve? You just put your tongue out and blow.
I contest...
You corrupted my wish, therefore you failed to grant it.
--Alex Markley
“Suddenly, the world was a bit more orange than usual. And the bunny didn't like it.”
Alex Markley
“Objects in mirror seem closer than they appear.”
But then...
I wish I had a good book to read.
But it's written in Yugoslavian!
I wish I was immune to all harmful viruses.
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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
Maybe...
Wish granted. But you’re particularly susceptible to harmful bacterial illnesses!
I wish there was a big, fluffy cloud in front of the sun.
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“... But as for me, I trust in [God.]” -Psalm 55:23
“[Jesus said,] ‘Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.’” –Matthew 24:35 (ESV)
Too easy...
The big fluffy cloud is in space. And made of lead. And it slowly strangles the life out of the planet by absorbing all the energy from the sun.
I wish I had an HD disk player.
--Alex Markley
“Suddenly, the world was a bit more orange than usual. And the bunny didn't like it.”
Alex Markley
“Objects in mirror seem closer than they appear.”
i wish
I wish I knew what that was...
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Yeah, that just gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside like the world is crushing down on my head. Thanks.
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“Yeah,” Ilor said, beginning to laugh, “they'd kill us because they're pirates!”
Wish Granted
You now own a Highly Demented disk player and it destroys everything you put in it.
I wish I didn't have to go to college.
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"He speaks of Meow."
"Just feed the cat."
You know how to raspberry, don't you Steve? You just put your tongue out and blow.
Stay in school, kids!
Wish granted: you eventually become homeless due to your lack of knowledge.
Um...I wish I was a dragon
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"I'm so hungry, I could eat at Arby's!"
"If I can keep down Arby's, I can keep down you!"
"Lisa, people do lots of crazy things in commercials...like eat at Arby's!"
- Th
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I need a siggy...
Oh wait.
Wish granted!
But you are subdued by a brave knight!
I wish I had a couple more days in my week between the ordinary ones, like maybe a Frednesday, a Whursday, and a Suesday.
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“... But as for me, I trust in [God.]” -Psalm 55:23
“[Jesus said,] ‘Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.’” –Matthew 24:35 (ESV)
Wish granted!
Unfortunately, Suesday is the day where everyone sues one another.
You are sued on 5 charges of missing the trash can when throwing out gum wrappers, and must spend 10 years in prison.
I wish my trip in Montreal lasted longer.
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"I'm so hungry, I could eat at Arby's!"
"If I can keep down Arby's, I can keep down you!"
"Lisa, people do lots of crazy things in commercials...like eat at Arby's!"
- The Simpsons
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I need a siggy...
Oh wait.
Wish granted
Your trip is now three months longer. Everyone is angry at eachother the whole trip and you wish you could go home early.
I wish I could skip college and get married. (if your first thought of how to corrupt that is to kill him, that's already been said.)
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Yeah, that just gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside like the world is crushing down on my head. Thanks.
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“Yeah,” Ilor said, beginning to laugh, “they'd kill us because they're pirates!”
I dun wanna corrupt that...
But go to college anyway Lilly, what if you meet him there?
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Slushy's words of wisdom:
I have been trained to read your mind... *reads your mind* oh, wait that's mine...woah this is embarrassing...<_< >_> *stands very still in hopes you wont see me*
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The floor beneath my feet pounds
The air around me fills with sound
I am one with the throbbing bass
and the lights that play on my face
Better idea
Wish granted. You skip college and marry a handsome but irresponsible rapscallion. He loses his looks within 5 years and you missed the opportunity to marry Mr. Right who was attending college.
I wish a certain someone I know had a more charming personality!
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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
plotting plotting
He could always get food "poisoning."
Wish granted! That person turns into an annoying television host and force you to watch their show everyday.
I wish we could play paintball again! he he >=D
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Yeah, that just gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside like the world is crushing down on my head. Thanks.
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“Yeah,” Ilor said, beginning to laugh, “they'd kill us because they're pirates!”
Wish granted
You step out of the woods to snipe the opposing team only to realize your hopper's empty and you are surrounded by Preacherman, Ais, and your brother with full ones >;-D
I wish I was focused enough/had enough time to finish drawing/writing my manga.
(PS- Lilly!!! We've been through this ... just use your empty paintball gun; lethal air can't be traced.)
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Good Lord, Lawrence! Why are you slapping a monkey?!
-Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of these United States (Night at the Museum)
The normal ones are boring. They all run-off screaming toward sanity. We just sit there at laugh at their sad attempts.
*drops gun*
Wish granted. You have a bunch of time and all kinds of ideas for your manga and your right hand gets run over. By the time it heals you have to o back to school.
I wish that fish weren't so creepy.
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Yeah, that just gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside like the world is crushing down on my head. Thanks.
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“Yeah,” Ilor said, beginning to laugh, “they'd kill us because they're pirates!”
><>
Wish granted. Fish are adorable compared to how you now feel about cats!
I wish we were done reading The Swiss Family Robinson.
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"He speaks of Meow."
"Just feed the cat."
You know how to raspberry, don't you Steve? You just put your tongue out and blow.
*snuggles fish?*
Wish granted. You're done with Swiss family Robinson but you still have a stack of books a mile high that you have to read before you can do anything else. Among them are the complete works of Victor Hugo and Mary Shelley. >=P
I wish I didn't have to paint the deck.
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Yeah, that just gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside like the world is crushing down on my head. Thanks.
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“Yeah,” Ilor said, beginning to laugh, “they'd kill us because they're pirates!”
Wish granTED!
You're mom decides she wants you to paint the house instead.
Meh wishes I didn't have to geta job...(is that too easy??)
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Slushy's words of wisdom:
I have been trained to read your mind... *reads your mind* oh, wait that's mine...woah this is embarrassing...<_< >_> *stands very still in hopes you wont see me*
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The floor beneath my feet pounds
The air around me fills with sound
I am one with the throbbing bass
and the lights that play on my face
wish granted
You never get a job and you live with your parents for a very long time!
I wish that my school schedule for Junior and Senior year weren't so messed up.
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I ain't not gonna do it! Wait... I guess I am.
Thanksgiving has another name, the germ exchange.
-my mom
Wish granted
Your schedules are exactly how you want them. But you get F's in every single class.
I wish i had my book finished.
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Yeah, that just gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside like the world is crushing down on my head. Thanks.
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“Yeah,” Ilor said, beginning to laugh, “they'd kill us because they're pirates!”
Granted wish
It's finished. Oprah hates it and tells all her viewers not to touch it with a ten foot pole. Sales are non-existent.
I wish my home was clean, decorated, and landscaped in a lovely retro style.
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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
Revenge for the Mary Shelley thing
Wish granted. Your work on your books stops completely and you can't change or add anything ever again.
I wish there was no such thing as Contact Dermatitis.
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"He speaks of Meow."
"Just feed the cat."
You know how to raspberry, don't you Steve? You just put your tongue out and blow.
Slipping in ahead of me, eh?
Wish granted. But you run into severe debt and loose the house.
I wish there was no such thing as Contact Dermatitis.
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"He speaks of Meow."
"Just feed the cat."
You know how to raspberry, don't you Steve? You just put your tongue out and blow.
^^I had to look that up
Wish granted. It dissapears, just after scientists find out it's actually inside everyone, preventing cancer. Soo...everybody gets cancer. No wait, that's too sad. Lets switch that to the flu
I wish I could vaporize Arby's.
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"I'm so hungry, I could eat at Arby's!"
"If I can keep down Arby's, I can keep down you!"
"Lisa, people do lots of crazy things in commercials...like eat at Arby's!"
- The Simpsons
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I need a siggy...
Oh wait.
Wish granted.
I wish that the ink in my pens could run a little tiny bit faster sometimes.
-------
“... But as for me, I trust in [God.]” -Psalm 55:23
“[Jesus said,] ‘Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.’” –Matthew 24:35 (ESV)
Wish Very Granted :-D
The ink begins to run inside the pens, turning them like a full set of tiny hamster wheels. All your nice pens roll off the desk, down the hall, and out into the wild. You are forced to buy a new box of pens, which don't run at all.
I wish I owned the entire 1st and 2nd seasons of Rurouni Kenshin.
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Good Lord, Lawrence! Why are you slapping a monkey?!
-Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of these United States (Night at the Museum)
The normal ones are boring. They all run-off screaming toward sanity. We just sit there at laugh at their sad attempts.
Enjoy!
Wish granted. Seasons 1 and 2 of Rurouni Kenshin, all your's ... on beta tape.
I wish there was no such thing as nightmares.
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"He speaks of Meow."
"Just feed the cat."
You know how to raspberry, don't you Steve? You just put your tongue out and blow.
Refreshing the tiny boxes :O
Wish granted. Nobobdy can ever sleep anymore, so nightmares cease to exist. You go insane from lack of sleep.
I wish the trees in my backyard were more climbable.
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"I'm so hungry, I could eat at Arby's!"
"If I can keep down Arby's, I can keep down you!"
"Lisa, people do lots of crazy things in commercials...like eat at Arby's!"
- The Simpsons
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I need a siggy...
Oh wait.
Heh heh >=D
Wish granted. Your trees are easy to climb now and every single one of them has an angry bird in them that attacks you if you ever go near any of the trees.
I wish the castle model I'm making would stop cracking.
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Yeah, that just gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside like the world is crushing down on my head. Thanks.
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“Yeah,” Ilor said, beginning to laugh, “they'd kill us because they're pirates!”
Hmm...
So it crumbles into powder, then “stops cracking.”
I wish we could know more about giant squids!
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“... But as for me, I trust in [God.]” -Psalm 55:23
“[Jesus said,] ‘Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.’” –Matthew 24:35 (ESV)
Attack of the Krakens
Wish granted. We learn all we ever wanted to know about giants squids when they begin crawling up out of the ocean and destroying coastal towns all over the world.
I wish everyone was as happy as I am!
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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
Wish granted
with everyone exactly as happpy as you at any given time, there is noone to cheer you up or to calm you down - you find everyone exceedingly annoying and spend the rest of your life locked in your house alone.
I wish I had a functional car to drive to filming and school.
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Good Lord, Lawrence! Why are you slapping a monkey?!
-Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of these United States (Night at the Museum)
The normal ones are boring. They all run-off screaming toward sanity. We just sit there at laugh at their sad attempts.
AAAAHHHH!
I want that wish too!!!
OOh! (actually this one is from my mom) Wish granted. You can have my cougar.
I wish rhyming didn't bother me so that i could appreciate poetry.
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Yeah, that just gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside like the world is crushing down on my head. Thanks.
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“Yeah,” Ilor said, beginning to laugh, “they'd kill us because they're pirates!”
YAYS
I don't have a corruption ... I just wanted to say that if you don't ... I, actually kinda ... do want your car ... just incase your offering
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Good Lord, Lawrence! Why are you slapping a monkey?!
-Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of these United States (Night at the Museum)
The normal ones are boring. They all run-off screaming toward sanity. We just sit there at laugh at their sad attempts.
Wish granted
You love the concept of the rhyme,
and decide to do it all the time
You annoy everyone that you hold dear,
and you get thrown off of a pier
I wish the mosquitos weren't so bad here.
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"I'm so hungry, I could eat at Arby's!"
"If I can keep down Arby's, I can keep down you!"
"Lisa, people do lots of crazy things in commercials...like eat at Arby's!"
- The Simpsons
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I need a siggy...
Oh wait.
*lol*
Nice one, wii_all_the_way!
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“... But as for me, I trust in [God.]” -Psalm 55:23
“[Jesus said,] ‘Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.’” –Matthew 24:35 (ESV)
*Screams of agony*
This is for the awful poem.
Wish granted. There is a huge increase in the number of bats near where you live and they eat all of the misquitoes, however, they all live in your bedroom. >=D
I wish i knew Dragonman's phone number so i could remind him about filming rather than calling whoever that nice lady was...
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Yeah, that just gives me a w