Ah, summer. It's upon us people. But you hardly need me to tell you that, as you all slip off discreetly on your summer vacations leaving the Malex Media Network looking like an hour old carcass in ninety degree heat.

But what is summer I ask you? For working people it's traditionally a time of air conditioning, at the home and in the car. It's also, traditionally, the best time to sight that rare creature known as your child, either sitting zoned at the computer or at the TV. Oops, sorry. That was my pessimistic side getting in a jab about the condition of America today. Pay him no mind.

Around my house summer is a completely different beast. Out with the hours of homework and in with the hours of yardwork and housework. Vegging on the computer or at the TV is simply not an option here, since the air conditioning unit is too small for our house and those electronics can and will overheat sometime this summer. It can also be hard to do this when your stay-at-home mother doesn't want you to. I love you ma.

Most people see the summer outdoors as a place of sunlight, birdsong, and lush green leaves. But at our house we have all that and more. Smart people will come outside here and see it as a war zone, littered with sunburn and mosquito bite victims. Silly people will come outside here and become one of those victims.

The air around here can go anywhere in that wide variety between extremely humid and only very humid. Yes, at all times here walking outside is like walking into a sauna. Except for at night, when walking outside is like walking into a crazy over decorative person's house on Halloween. If anyone ever tells you that summer is boring they're mad. Completely mad.

Yes, summer around here can be pretty interesting. I thought this summer would be a peaceful summer, where I sat down and wrote my book. But then I was rudely reminded that I live in a house with so many other people, who all have more free time on their hands and who all want to do something with me. Did I say summer can be interesting? Hectic is really more the word. Hectic.