The Malex Minute
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Malex Minute 027
Malex, Linus, and Snufflefungus try to add some class to the show by interviewing the President of the Universe!
I hate to sound immodest, but how can we be so amazing?! (Can you tell I enjoyed this episode? I think you will too, so give it a listen and let us know what you think.)
Transcript
Nobody: New Intro
Malex: Hey everybody, Malex here! Welcome to the first episode of the new Malex Minute quarter!
Linus: And what are we changing this time?
Malex: Absolutely nothing!
Snufflefungus: Why?
Malex: Why not?
Linus: Who cares?
Snufflefungus: I care!
Linus: Why?
Snufflefungus: Why not?
Malex: I’m in a room full of two-year-olds.
Snufflefungus: You shouldn’t talk about our guest like that!
Linus: Our guest?
Snufflefungus: You can come out of the closet now!
Malex: I love it when I don’t know what’s going on.
PotU: Greetings, everyone!
Linus: Snufflefungus, is your guest homeless?
Snufflefungus: No, he’s the president of the universe!
Linus: He smells homeless.
Malex: President of the universe?
Snufflefungus: Yeah! Isn’t it great? We’ll be famous!
Malex: Um, you’re the president of the universe?
PotU: Yes!
Linus: And what precisely makes you think that?
PotU: The president of the universe lives in the capitol of the universe!
Malex: And… you live in the capitol of the universe?
PotU: Indeed I do!
Snufflefungus: Mister President? Where is the capitol of the universe?
PotU: Right here, of course!
Malex: My house? _I_ live here.
PotU: (Chuckles) No, no. This city is the capitol of the universe!
Linus: And you’d’ve thought that somebody would have posted a sign.
Malex: Mister, uh, president… What precisely makes this city the capitol of the universe?
PotU: The capitol of the universe is wherever the president lives! And I live here of course!
Snufflefungus: Oh, I get it! You’re the president of the universe because you live in the capitol of the universe, which _is_ the capitol of the universe _because_ you’re the president!
Malex: I think I’ll pop off and shoot myself now.
Linus: That’s the most profound example of circular reasoning I think I’ve ever come across.
Snufflefungus: It makes perfect sense to me…
Malex: Look, if you’re supposed to be the president of the universe, there must be _something_ that gives you the authority to make that claim!
Linus: Malex, give it up. He’s got nothing.
PotU: I can travel through time!
Malex: What?
PotU: I can view the future.
Linus: Oh yeah? Prove it! Tell us our future!
PotU: You will go on a daring quest!
Malex: Oh wow. That’s just so specific. We’ll definitely know you were right.
Snufflefungus: But he’s already right! We’ve gone on _lots_ of quests in the past!
Linus: Snuffy, every time you open your mouth, my opinion of you goes down.
Snufflefungus: Oh yeah?! Well every time I open my mouth, my opinion of _you_ goes down!
Malex: Look, Prezzy. I’m just not impressed by your demonstration.
PotU: Well… I’m not used to predicting the future of people’s lives. That’s not what I use my power for.
Linus: Well what do you use it for?
PotU: Here, let me show you!
Malex: Whoa! What the heck?!
Snufflefungus: The room vanished, and was replaced with a wall of televisions!
PotU: This is my /watching/ room.
Malex: Oh, so you can keep an eye on world events?
PotU: No. So I can find out what happens next on my favorite television shows before everybody else does!
Linus: So you travel forward in time… to watch television?
PotU: Yes.
Snufflefungus: Wow! He really _is_ the president of the universe!
PotU: Especially the weather channel. I like to watch the weather channel in the future. It’s really interesting.
Linus: I don’t have to listen to this anymore. I _can’t_!
Malex: Ladies and Gentlemen, I think that’s all we have time for today. Thank you so much for listening, and we hope you’ll join us again next week on The Malex Minute!
Nobody: New Ending
Credits
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writer: Alex Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers
Post-processing director: Alex Markley
Release manager: Alex Markley
Recording assistance: Leela
Thanks to everyone for their help and support. 
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Comments
Sweet!
That's so awesome, Malex! Where do you get your ideas? They're always SO funny!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Come now children what's wrong? You should be panting with delight!
=•.•= ~Squeak!
Hysterical!
I love it! This is just SO funny! My favorite quote this time comes from Linus:
Linus: I don't have to listen to this anymore. I _can't_!
Poor Linus. He'd make a terrible Dad.
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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
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We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Comedic Timing
"And what are we changing this time?"
"Absolutely nothing!"
"Why?"
"Why not?"
"Who cares?"
"I care!"
"Why?"
"Why not?"
"I'm in a room full of two-year-olds."
I _love_ this! You guys really have the comedic timing down pat!
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"And tell Graham - tell him: see. ... Tell him to see. And tell Merrill to swing away." - Signs
"You do realize," said Zanna, "that you're stroking a milk carton."
"You're just jealous," said Deeba.
-China Miéville's Un Lun Dun-
Thanks. :)
Thanks.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
--Alex Markley
"But who will help me bake the flour?" inquired the donkey.
"Festering!" screamed the hen in reply.
Alex Markley
“The fate of a good technologist is to work on things that will seem silly in a hundred years. The fate of a bad technologist is to work on things that seem silly already.”
whoa
*madamel has sudden vision of a flock of sarcastic, bitter, and abrasive little laptops that look like Linus*
eek. however... there's not a girl laptop for Linus to marry, so Linus Jr's aren't possible!
both good and bad news, I guess...
"...Though I may be forced to faint if my imagination gets the better of me."
-- Anne Shirley
I hope and pray that none may kill me,
Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,
But if ever any should think to kill me,
I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.
my favorite part
I liked the very end after the music!
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I linger always in evening, not wanting to be seen by the day, but afraid of the night. For is that not my name? Enaduial, traveling from evening to evening, waiting to be found.
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
ummm
That is genually scary...funny but scary
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
Me too
I liked the very end after the music!
I did too.
Madame, I think Linus would have to do a lot of fine tuning on his personality before he'd find even a laptop who would marry him.
Lilly, your new sig is very pretty. But how do you pronounce the name? It looks like the name of a prescription medicine.
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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
---------------
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Pronunciation
Let's see if I can get this right.
En-an-dwee-ul
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"And tell Graham - tell him: see. ... Tell him to see. And tell Merrill to swing away." - Signs
"You do realize," said Zanna, "that you're stroking a milk carton."
"You're just jealous," said Deeba.
-China Miéville's Un Lun Dun-
But,...
You've got an extra 'n' sound in there.
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Photorealistic Surreality: the mimicry of what one supposes the visual conditions of an impossible scenerio would be like in real life
Old Mother Hubbard sat in her cupboard,
Drowning her sorrows in hay.
Along came a spider who sat down to chide her,
But he could think of nothing to say.
Except for one thing
Ya its En-a-dwee-al or something like. It means of evening. I kinda came up with the sig randomly.
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I linger always in evening, not wanting to be seen by the day, but afraid of the night. For is that not my name? Enaduial, traveling from evening to evening, waiting to be found.
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo