Disclaimer: This comic does in no way, shape, or form, or under any imaginable circumstance, represent with any instructive, useful, or significant level of accuracy any historical, scientific, or actual landmarks in scholarly pursuits of any kind; this never happened, neither did behavioral psychologists need to perform this kind of experimentation on any animal to ascertain that a wheel shape on an axle would indulge without measure the typical hamster's evident and indomitable tendency to run, and run, and run.

Nobody's really that stupid, you cynic.

weird-o'

n.

1. a person who strives entirely in vain for a social life due to the other weirdos he's stuck being friends with

2. a person whose life is made a constant flow of ambivalence due to extraneous circumstances

3. a person who can't seem to "get it together"

4. a person with serious issues

5. a person like Nixy

Okay, when I saw that it was time to write the text for this one, I honestly thought, "Oh dear. ... This one cannot be explained."

And so it cannot. I'm afraid you will get no explanation for this one.

Dissatisfied customers may have their money back. All refunds will be handled in Robin Hood's barn.

Through a certain way of looking at certain quantum mechanic theories with a certain tenuousness of understanding, it almost seems to suggest that solid objects could pass through each other - but that such a thing is unimaginably improbable.

I am no quantum theorist, so this may be a gross mangling of the theory.

But, after all, what is safe from the gross mangling Contradictionary administers?

Have you ever known something was going to happen, and had no way of preventing it? Well, Timby knows how you feel now*...

Except, you might not have had the added trauma that Timby did of the sudden, candid disclosure that his life is a comic. And that there are probably people laughing at his pain.

... People like you.

* - We lied. Timby has no nerve endings in his body, thus felt no pain at this juncture.

per-plex'ing

adj.

1. presented without context purely for amusement

2. inexplicable or unpredictable to facilitate an entertaining reaction from bystanders

3. illicit; covert due to moral untenability

U.G.O.

n. abbr.

1. MILITARY Unidentified Gooey Object

Timby is ill-prepared for life. And yet he somehow meets each individual situation well-prepared. And ill-prepared at the same time.

He has somehow acquired a large fortress of considerable altitude and strategic locale in South Asia. However, he cannot think through everyday occurrences well enough to fabricate an intelligent response.

And yet, he thinks of and prepares for the worst. ... Far be it from objective, scientific inquiry to know the mind of Timby.

Finally! The last leg of the long, long journey to New Civilatham! Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.

Okay, I can actually describe the thought process behind this one.

I was picturing one of Malex's polyphasic sleep cycles landing in the middle of a work shift. I wondered what he would tell his boss - perhaps, "Excuse me, I'm going to pop off for an hour in the interests of my new sleep schedule. I'll make up for it by working later."

... Then I pictured how he would prevent a coworker from bursting in and begging for help on something.